pmfji snakeskin

funnytwittertweets:

(via thebootydiaries)

orteil42:

orteil42:

love drinking water while taking a piss every chance i get to remind myself of my status as, ultimately, just a loud little tube with opinions

single btw

(via thebootydiaries)

academicssay:

hedgehog-moss:

I like to think there is a parallel universe where reading comment sections is known as a soothing pastime because everyone on the parallel Internet is as kind and polite as the commenters on yourdailypoem.com:

(via scanlans-and-shorthalts)

vigilantsycamore:

satyriconmp3:

Lady Catherine de Bourgh posted this

(via halfagony-halfhope)

997:

for the love of god…

(via sads)

stupidcommentdepository:

*attempts to log into bank account*

To continue answer security question: “Where and how will you die?”

types in “alone in a ditch wearing a clown costume”

*i view my account balance of $4.47*

(via thebootydiaries)

ostracizedpoodle:

paradisaic:

ostracizedpoodle:

basketballs smell gross 

go to hell??

why are you defending the smell of a ball 

(via thebootydiaries)

lakevida:

if i was good at oil painting i would never be online i’d just be doing oil painting and drugs and an all-smoothie diet for the sake of convenience. life could be a dream

(via madetha)

funnytwittertweets:

(via wastelandimbaby)

doeberman-deactivated20210530:

wait babe before we move on i need to break every barrel in this room to check for hidden items

(via wastelandimbaby)